- Anthony Burch – 5-4 – $404,200 – old age I guess
- Jason Killingsworth – 4-4 – $225,200 – old age lite
- Rich Stanton -3-3 – $108,475 – purple brainwave one-hit kill, aka BULLSHIT
- Richard Boeser – 1-4 – $30,200 – angry shopkeeper
- Nika Harper – 1-4 – $3,000? – Tequila, hold the bombs
Discussion and spoilers after the break.
Anthony Burch: Frigging figures that my first ever successful hell run has a big, stupid break in the middle of it. I’ve decided I’m most comfortable with only pissing off the shopkeeps in the black market and never before, if only so I don’t have to deal with the one pronk guarding the exit.
Also: I heard from my friend Nodens that trying to bomb that spider in the mines was a horrifically risky choice in actuality — his web was juuuust close enough that if you threw the bomb just right (or wrong, I guess) it’d blow up exactly one block of the store and piss off the shopkeep.
Also also: dark black market! Ahhhh!
Richard Boeser: Tried to bomb the spider that Anthony mentions. Failed and dropped the spider in front of the shop entrance. Decided I’d throw a rock at it because I was certain it would hit the giant spider. After successfully hitting the spider, the rock continued its flight to hit the shopkeeper. I survived two more levels, but just not good at dealing with those guys.
Anthony, I was going through old ibb & obb material and bumped into your name under a Destructoid article. We met at E3 in 2008, I didn’t realize that. Nice to ‘meet’ again.
Nika Harper: I played a game and where did all my necessary items go.
Anthony Burch: Oh, cool! I never connected those dots either, Richard. Yeah, good to sort-of-see you again.
Jason Killingsworth: Oh man, I failed at life today. One of my dopiest moments ever. I’ve had the ankh and absentmindedly walked into the exit in the Moai Head stage in the ice caverns before but I believe this is the first time that I’ve ever opened the Black Market and exited the level. I had wandered a little ways off futilely looking for bombs and then walked into the first door I arrived at on my return stroll, which was the exit, not the market. I cruised through the rest and beat Olmec, but it was a cold comfort. My mood never really bounced back 😦
Rich Stanton: I think my obsession with killing the Mothership has something Freudian about it. It’s like tragedy without the happiness.